New Year, Same Old Insanity
by Red Witch
Summary: As the Misfits and XMen gather for one last bash before the New Year begins, Xavier tries to impose some new resolutions on the gang. Needless to say they are broken before the New Year even begins! Happy New Year everyone!


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters has a hangover. Well just a little fluff to ring in the New Year!**

**New Year, Same Old Insanity**

It was New Year's Eve and the X-Men and Misfits were celebrating at the Institute.

"SHIPWRECK WILL YOU GET YOUR STUPID PARROT OUT OF THE CHAMPAINGE!" Logan shouted.

"WHOOHAHAHAHAAHA!" Polly laughed.

"Oh it's gonna be a long night," Hank sighed as Logan chased the parrot around. "Logan forget it. You're never gonna catch him."

"One of these days…" Logan stopped and glared at the cackling parrot. "I'm gonna pluck that overgrown feather duster."

"Take a number," Shipwreck told him as he walked into the room with a limp.

"And where were **you?**" Logan asked. Ororo walked into the room in a huff. "Oh what was I thinking? Dumb question."

"Well it's another New Year's Eve," Xavier said. "A time of reflection and hope."

"I'm looking forward to this year being over," Hank told them. "Considering how this past one treated us."

"Yeah we had to deal with Apocalypse, Magneto, Mystique, Cobra, Sentinels, Stryker…" Logan listed them off. "The Hellions, the FOH, the Purists…"

"Movie stars, politicians, demons, irate townsfolk," Hank continued. "Dracula…"

"I never want to hear **that **name again!" Ororo groaned.

"Dracula! Awk! Dracula!" Polly flew by. "Wanted romance to get into Storm's pants! Awk!"

"All I need is **one** good bolt of lightning, bird!" Ororo shouted. "Just one!"

"Maybe you should give your speech now Charles," Logan sighed. "Before things get out of hand."

"SHAVING CREAM FIGHT!" Kurt whooped as he ran around with a can of shaving cream in his hand.

"YOU ARE GONNA DIE FUZZY!" Todd screamed as he hopped behind him, his face covered in shaving cream. "DIE!"

"Let me rephrase that," Logan rolled his eyes. "Before things get even **more **out of hand!"

"TOAD! THAT'S LIKE TOTALLY DISGUSTING!" Kitty screamed. "EWW! IT'S ALL OVER MY JEANS!"

"YOU SLIMED ME!" Lance shouted. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SLIMED ME!"

"Sorry! I was aiming for Fuzzball here," Todd told him. Just then the room began to shake. "Yikes!"

"We'd better stop them before we need to call the contractor for even more repairs," Hank sighed.

Soon things had relatively been sorted out and the shaving cream had been confiscated. Xavier gathered the students and the Misfits together in the living room to speak. "I want to thank you all for coming tonight."

"That will be a first," Fred blinked.

"Yeah usually they don't invite us," Todd said.

"Well we figured you were all gonna just show up anyway so…" Sam shrugged.

"This past year has been…stressful to say the least," Xavier began. "We've faced many dangerous foes and perilous threats to not only mutantkind, but the world as well. The world has become more hostile to mutants. We have gained many enemies and lost some good friends. Some through death, others through betrayal."

"And others brought lawsuits," Pietro quipped.

"Yet through all this adversity we have all persevered," Xavier continued as if he hadn't heard that. "We've gained new friends and allies and made some ground in the fight for peace between humans and mutants."

"Too bad for every inch gained we lost a foot," Todd groaned.

"Do you guys have to make stupid comments on everything?" Kitty snapped.

"It's kind of hard not to," Arcade said. "I mean you guys set them yourselves up for them so well."

"Anyway," Xavier continued. "This year will prove to be equally challenging with more and more new mutants appearing every day."

"That means more new people to fight and screw things up," Lance groaned.

"And I think we can all agree that the **last** thing we need is pointless infighting between our two teams," Xavier went on.

"Especially since so many other people want to fight us," Scott grumbled. "Let's give them a chance, shall we?"

"Scott…" Jean groaned.

"Sorry," Scott apologized. "Toad you're right. We **do **set ourselves up a lot!"

"Therefore I think we shall have a discussion on the new rules concerning visits between the Misfits and the X-Men!" Xavier took out a list. "Number one is that from now on except in cases of extreme emergencies all visits shall be scheduled. That means no barging in at three in the morning to sing love songs, raid our pantry, have target practice, wreck our house or whatever **else** you maniacs feel like doing!"

"You keep saying that like it's a bad thing," Xi blinked.

"He does have a point," Spirit pointed out.

"Kids you can't just sneak out and teleport over here to cause trouble when you feel like it," Roadblock admonished them.

"We don't do it **that** often," Althea said.

"You like do it every **day!**" Kitty shouted.

"No we didn't," Daria said. "We didn't do it September 5th."

"Yeah we had some Cobra bases to blow up," Brittany told them.

"Or March 7th," Quinn pointed out. "We had to spend all day helping Daddy get over his hangover."

"That reminds me," Daria said. "Our jumper cables are busted."

"No problem," Spyder raised her hand. "I've got a couple of charges in me."

"See we didn't come here **every **day," Quinn told the X-Men.

"You came here more than enough!" Amara snapped.

"You're still miffed about the blue dye in your underwear drawer aren't you?" Brittany blinked innocently.

"We get the point," Roadblock interrupted. "From now on we'll make sure the kids don't disrupt the joint."

"This also means you cannot abandon your charges whenever you all feel like making a beer run or whatever else you do," Xavier looked at the Joes.

"You're kidding right?" Shipwreck blinked. "I mean what makes you think we would do such an irresponsible thing like that?"

"Fill in your own jokes kids, this one is way too easy for me," Logan sighed.

"Let's just say you inspired this little rule Shipwreck," Hank folded his arms.

"Next is the usage of phones," Xavier continued. "I know you Misfits are making some of your calls here! Not **all **of them are Bobby's fault!"

"YEAH!" Bobby shouted.

"Well I didn't want to say anything but Red here has been kind of tying up the lines lately if you get my drift," Lance said.

Jean picked up a stapler from the desk. "Unless you want this stapler to perform its job on a very **sensitive** area on yourself, you'd better keep your mouth shut!"

"Looks like you need to work on that resolution of yours in order to keep your temper in check," Fred tisked.

"Look **who's **talking!" Scott snapped!

"Now Scott let's be fair," Hank sighed. "Since you've we've all been going to therapy he's been a lot better. Come to think of it out of all of us he's the **only** one getting better!"

"Well I don't want to get out of control like Jean here," Fred pointed out.

"This stapler is a very **versatile **piece if machinery Fred," Jean glared at him. "Would you like a demonstration too?"

"Now listen," Roadblock said. "You kids have got to stop mooching off the Professor here. That's my final word on the subject, is that clear?"

"You ought to listen to your own advice," Scott looked at him. He took out a piece of paper. "The Sports Hotline? The Gourmet Hotline? The Hot Date Hotline for Soldiers?"

"Well you know how lonely Beast can get," Shipwreck shrugged.

"Jean, may I borrow your stapler when you are finished with it?" Hank asked.

"Perhaps we should press on?" Xavier suggested. "Next item concerns the use of alcohol."

"Professor most of us kids don't drink," Kitty said. "Or want to drink. Especially after a certain incident…"

"You're never gonna let me live that down are you?" Bobby groaned.

"What do **you** think?" Lance snapped.

"Yes, well no need to tempt fate," Xavier said. "As of now there will be no alcoholic beverages allowed at the Institute except for two places. One will be my study where they will be under lock and key."

"So you're gonna drink it all yourself?" Shipwreck called out.

"In case you haven't figured it out kids this rule was **also** inspired by Shipwreck," Hank sighed.

"Well duh," Pietro remarked.

"The other place will be in Logan's room," Xavier ignored the comments.

"Where I will personally take care of my own private stash," Logan shot out his claws. "Don't even **think** of coming **near** it!"

"Oh man," Lance whistled. "If **that** doesn't deter anybody from drinking I don't know **what **will!"

"Well you kids need your limits," Shipwreck said.

"This rule also applies to the adults as well," Ororo glared at him. "ESPECIALLY YOU SHIPWRECK!"

"WHAT? No booze? Roadblock you gotta talk to Xavier about this!" Shipwreck grabbed Roadblock's collar and pulled him to the side with the other Misfit adults.

"Me? What do you want me to do?" Roadblock asked.

"Anything!" Shipwreck said. "Do you know how hard it is to sneak a drink back home with the kids watching us? Althea taught the Triplets a new game, How High Can You Blow Up Daddy's Booze? It's a crime I tell ya!"

"Stand down you drunk," Cover Girl shoved him aside. "But as much as I hate to admit it, Booze Brain here has a point. I mean come on Roadblock, if we didn't drop the kids off here we'd never get any free time alone."

"Not to mention our home would be a hole in the ground by now," The Blind Master said. "Literally."

"We'll abide by these rules until the kids bug us enough to let them do what they want," Roadblock whispered.

"Oh **that's **gonna be a fun week," Low Light groaned.

"We **can** hear you ya know?" Logan folded his arms. All the X-Men and Misfit kids were looking at them.

"He's right about one thing," Warren sighed. "It **is** gonna be a fun week."

"Another thing," Xavier decided it would be best to press on. "**Any** form of sexual harassment will not be tolerated!"

Everyone looked at Trinity. "What?" Quinn asked innocently.

"Why does everybody blame us?" Daria asked.

"Can we help it if the guys here have totally hot bods?" Brittany blinked.

"Oh man it is gonna be a **fun** week," Warren rolled his eyes.

"Well the girls just need a mother figure," Shipwreck grinned at Ororo. "I mean Ororo you could do the job, you've certainly got the figure requirement down pat."

"Pop that is probably your worst pick up line yet!" Althea groaned.

"No, his worst was the time he was dressed in only his underwear and said 'Is it hot in here or is it just me?'" Ororo told her.

"Again this is **another** rule inspired by Shipwreck," Xavier said. "And anyone who just happens to possess some of his DNA."

"Storm, face it," Logan told her. "He's a lost cause."

"Yeah with him it's kind of like telling a dog not to use a fire hydrant for a restroom," Cover Girl said. "Fortunately you can use a simple method to keep him under control." She took out a newspaper and whacked Shipwreck on the head with it. "NO! BAD SAILOR! BAD SAILOR!"

"Ever notice how much our lives are like porn movies?" Ray thought aloud. "Only without the sex."

"I can totally see that," Roberto thought.

"Can we get back on track please?" Jean asked.

"Jean's definitely a dominatrix type," Ray said. Then blanched. "Please tell me I did **not **say that out loud!"

"Uh, you did," Forge winced. Jean had a very angry look on her face and was holding the stapler tightly.

"Run…" Logan told Ray. "Run hard, run fast boy…"

And he did. Only to get clocked by a stapler. "Ow…" Ray fell down and passed out.

"Moving on," Xavier said in a tone that had resigned itself. "I think these rules will help alleviate the chaos you Misfits seem to bring around here."

"Oh now wait a dog gone minute here," Althea said. "You know, you X-Geeks aren't exactly perfect angels you know? You've caused more than your share of destruction in this town if I recall!"

"Yeah we're not always responsible for the things that go on around here!" Pietro said.

"Name one time!" Scott challenged.

"Two words: Shrink Ray," Wanda pointed out.

"Oh yeah…" Scott glared at Forge.

"This leads me to our next rule about unauthorized experiments," Xavier looked at Forge. "From now on Forge I want to know about everything you are working on in your lab and I do mean **everything!**"

"I guess now would be a good time for me to admit I'm almost done with my latest invention," Forge laughed nervously.

"And what pray tell would **that **be?" Hank asked.

"It's a portable nuclear power generator," Forge gulped.

"Ah…" Hank winced. "Please tell me it's not working yet."

"Sort of…" Forge kept nervously laughing. "The bugs aren't quite out yet but it's not **that **big. It's the size of a Game Cube."

"**That's** what you've been working on all week?" Kurt's jaw dropped.

"No, this morning I've been working on another project," Forge admitted.

"Which is?" Scott folded his arms.

"A portable nuclear power generator detector," Forge winced. "I kind of…misplaced my project. But don't worry. It's not on. I think. I'm pretty sure I hit the power button off. Then again that was one of the things that had been giving me trouble so…"

"Roadblock if you would be so kind to inform the GI Joe Bomb Squad of our little situation…" Xavier put his hand to his head.

"Don't worry I got the number on speed dial," Roadblock had taken out his cell phone. "Yo…It's Roadblock…**Again**!"

"Wait you said it was the size of a Game Cube?" Tabitha asked. "Is it blue? Cause Bobby that would explain why that Paper Mario game you got wouldn't play."

"You didn't forget to turn it off again did you?" Jesse looked at Bobby.

"Uh…" Bobby blinked.

"Roadblock…" Logan had a look of panic in his eyes. "Tell 'em to step on it!"

"Told you," Althea had a smug look on her face.

"Ha!" Arcade laughed.

"RIBBIT"

"What was that?" Jean looked around.

"Uh…Nothing," Arcade shot a panicked look at Todd and put on an innocent look.

"RIBBIT"

"It came from over here…" Scott looked into the hall. "HOLY #&!!"

"Oh dear…" Hank's eyes bulged when he looked at the hall. "So much for the no swearing rule. Then again…"

"Actually in this case that's exactly what I am thinking," Xavier looked.

In the hall several tiny metallic robot frogs were hopping around. "Ribbit! Croak! Ribbit! Beep!" They croaked.

"What are **those?**" Ororo shouted.

"My Robotic Frog Army!" Todd grinned. "Set to do my bidding!"

"YOUR WHAT?" Scott glared at him.

"It was my Christmas present to Toad," Arcade laughed nervously.

"Unfortunately they're kind of not responding to my controls," Todd was hitting a blue control pad.

"Ribbit! Ribbit!" The metal frogs hopped all over the place.

"Get them off my leg!" Amara screamed.

"Why won't you work?" Todd shouted as he pounded the control pad.

"Dude! That's my control pad!" Forge grabbed it. "It goes to my portable nuclear generator!"

"Well that explains why the TV in the next room is glowing," Xi blinked.

"EVERYBODY RUN!" Scott shouted. "JEAN USE YOUR POWERS TO CONTAIN THE ROOM!"

"Man I've heard of parties that were bombs but this is ridiculous!" Pietro shouted. "TOAD GET THIS FROG OFF MY LEG!"

"Well that's not on the list," Logan pointed out as the frogs ran amok and the Joe Bomb Squad materialized via the transporter into the room. "You gotta give 'em credit for originality."

"It's not even the New Year and already they're coming up with ways to drive us nuts!" Scott groaned.

"I don't know why I even bothered," Xavier threw the list away. "This happens every year. I make some resolutions but I always break them."

CRASH!

"Although in this case the Misfits broke them for me," Xavier sighed. "Well might as well break another rule while we're at it. Logan…"

"Right ahead of you," He told him as he poured him a shot of vodka. "Happy New Year Charles!"

"And this is the stuff that will get us through it," Hank groaned as he took a glass.

**Happy New Year Everyone! Hope it's a blast!**

Red Witch


End file.
